If you pay attention to the problems, then that is all you will see. If you pay attention to the failures, then that is all you will see. Now, switch your focus to the opposite. Look for the good things: the best practices, and the wins. If you want to see all of it, pay attention to the negatives, AND to the positives. You need to see BOTH for a complete picture.

“They won’t know what to do IF I don’t tell them.” I have heard THAT said many times. My response: So what? Them: They will make a mistake. Me: What will happen after that? Them: They will try again. Me: And after that? Them: They might make another mistake. Me: AND? Them: They might learn a new way to do it. Me: And then what happens? Them: I can focus on my own work, not theirs. The point? They can learn from their mistakes, IF they are given the space to make mistakes. It

When we are muted, we don’t speak up in meetings, we hold back our thoughts, and we avoid difficult conversations. Although there may not be an actual mute button, we can feel like the mute button was pressed, because of other people’s words, their actions, and what we say to ourselves. Let’s have the conversations to say what we are thinking, to ask the difficult questions, and to share the crazy thoughts. Unmuting will lead to better discussions, and perhaps, the next best

When we prepare our response to an expected criticism, that is a prebuttal. I have observed it many times with clients. They decide how to respond to what they assume will be said, AND they say it out loud before hearing the actual issue. Then, they find out the issue is different than what they assumed. Let’s put those assumptions AND prebuttals aside. We need to start with discovering the actual issue. When we defend an issue that isn’t even the issue, we get off track and

When someone is saying something, just listen. When someone is asking something, just listen. Let them finish. Count to 2. 1....2.... THEN, speak. Respond to what THEY said instead of initially inserting your idea. This is how it might sound. Them: "I am thinking about how to approach this project. What do you think?" You: THINK this: 1....2....maybe 3. THEN, you can say: "Tell me about your ideas." When you invite someone to talk about their ideas

Usually, I insist that we shouldn't assume, because assumptions are not facts. That still holds true even while I suggest we should assume this: positive intent. What does that even mean? When someone says, "You did that wrong," we respond to the perceived attack with a defense. Instead, assume they mean well, and respond with a question such as: “How would you approach it?” Your curiosity will lead a conversation instead of an attack & defend scen

Set aside time for nothing. The truth is the nothing moments are really a lot of something. Here is how it works for me. I schedule nothing time before a challenge. It might be the start of a project I don’t know how to approach. It can be when I anticipate a difficult conversation. My nothing time is when I don’t think about what is about to happen. Instead, I might be sitting in a comfortable chair, looking out the window, or staring at the wall. As I think about nothing, i