Replace You with I

You do it all the time. That doesn’t sound great, does it?

When we hear ‘you’ as the first word, we anticipate what follows will be a complaint or accusation. Our assumption prevents us from hearing anything else.

Instead start with ‘I’ and describe how you feel, what you may need, or what is important to you.

Review these examples:

Original version: You are very late.

Better version: I was worried when you weren’t here.

Original version: You left out a lot of important information.

Better version: I need to finish tracking the budget so the details for phase 2 would be helpful.

When you are thinking about starting with ‘you,’ reframe the way you say it by first saying an ‘I’ statement.